the room

Where do I even begin to start with Uwe Boll?? For those who have never heard of Boll, he is a German independent film director, producer and screenwriter, who was fortunate enough to win a rare ‘Worst Career Achievement’ award at the 29th Golden Raspberry Awards in 2009. According to Wikipedia, Boll challenged his five harshest critics each to a 10-round boxing match. Boll fought and won against all five participants.

The Boll trailer I’m going to show you is for the film, ‘Postal’, which is an adaptation of the video game by the same name. ‘Postal’ tells the story of a recently laid-off loser who teams up with his cult-leading uncle to steal a peculiar bounty of riches from their local amusement park; and somehow, the recently arrived Taliban have a similar focus, but a far more sinister intent.

God knows why Verne Troyer, J.K. Simmons & Dave Foley signed up to star in this film…

I don’t really need to say too much about this trailer, it basically says it all. But may I just reiterate the fact that 80’s teen pop icon Debbie Gibson is in this! Talk about interesting career trajectory, from chart success to posing to Playboy to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. The girl is still working hard to keep up with Tiffany!!

I’ve just read that Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus was orginally going to be made in 3-D. I can even begin to fathom how truly bad/awesome that would’ve been. Curses upon the film studio that didn’t acquire the funding to make this epic 3-D!!

What I really love about recut film trailers is the idea that the trailer can exist separately from a film. As the majority of recut trailers seek to displace the original genre of the film parodied – such as, for example, ‘Scary Mary’ which presents the story of ‘Mary Poppins’ as a horror film in which Mary is the nanny from hell – the original genre of the film must be known by the viewer in order to acknowledge the site for parody in the fan-made trailer. So without further ado, I present to you, ‘Scary Mary’.

‘Mary Poppins’ was probably my most-watched VHS as a child. I have vivid memories of playing ‘A Spoonful of Sugar’ over and over, but by far my most favourite scene from the film was ‘Step In Time’. The choreography is amazing and I remember wanting to be a chimney sweep so badly upon viewing it.

I love Tom Cruise. Yep, I’m not afraid to admit it. I’m not an avid fan of the guy’s work but I do love his camp acting, crazy Scientology antics and ability to both repel and excite the general public. I do however love him enough to own a t-shirt with his mug on it!! My favourite Tom Cruise film of all time would have to be 1980’s action blockbuster ‘Top Gun’. The video below isn’t exactly what I would call a bad film trailer, but rather, an awesome re-imagining of ‘Top Gun’.

This new re-imagining suggests that fighter jet pilots Maverick and Iceman are in a romantic and sexual relationship.
It is a really interesting example of how the mass media makes heterosexual characters and relationships the standardised norm, while queer relationships and lifestyles are marginalised.
Upon viewing this trailer I have come to the conclusion that Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer have more sexual chemistry than the film’s original Tom Cruise/ Kelly McGillis partnership.

VS

My one major problem with this trailer is the failure to include the epic homoerotic volleyball game.

If you know nothing about the phenomenon that is ‘The Room’, then this interview with actor/director/producer/Marlon Brando wannabe Tommy Wiseau is a must!

Hello & welcome!!
I’ve not thought too hard on the direction in which I would like to take this blog, so it will be interesting to see where it naturally goes. In the meantime, please enjoy the greatest video you will ever see on the internet, ‘One Track Lover’ from the television show that changed my life, ‘Darkplace’.